Sirisha

Sirisha
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Biographical/Geographical Note
Sirisha was born in Chennai, India. Her family moved at a young age, so she spent most of her time growing up in the southern state of Gujarat. She went to an all-girl school during her childhood then spent the last two years of high school in a co-ed setting. She received her Bachelor’s Degree from Stella Meris College and her Master’s Degree from the Madras School for Economics. After immigrating to America, she received a Ph.D. in Economics from Massachusetts University. She now teaches Economics at Wright State University.

India is the 7th largest country in the world regarding area, but is the 2nd largest in the world regarding population with over a billion people. It’s also second in the world in its amount of cell phones: over 670 million! With 81 million users, India’s Internet ranking is fourth in the world. Its capital is New Delhi and India has a federal republic government. India declared its independence from the U.K. in 1947. It has an Open Market economy with a 10.7% unemployment rate with 25% of people living below the poverty line.

**Homes**
As I walk by the mall with my friend, Past the huge buildings, And the many cars, I feel good in my new home.

I came just before 9/11, And for a while I've been worried. There have been numerous reports of attacks On people with brown Skin like mine Since the attacks, But I feel good in my new home

A large car drives past us With college students, Like a loud storm. I hear one yell: "You Middle Eastern Assholes!" As they drive off.

I look around for the Middle Easterners, But there is no one around but us.

"Who were they talking about?" I ask my friend.

"Us,” she says.

I am confused. I am Indian.

Sometimes I feel Like a hermit crab In a new shell. Like I am in a Limbo in this new world. This place is so different, But by now My old home has changed so much, I would not recognize it.

Where is my home now? I do not feel good here.

**Wrong Pride**

Graduate school is hard for everyone, Especially international students Like my friends and me.

I have always spoken English, //British English// With an Indian accent. People constantly “correct” me. It's like I get straight A’s And still fail.

The professors are nice, But it is hard to ask for things That we deserve That others get. Because we are immigrants, Because we are tigers In a lion's den.

Life is hard for everyone, Especially immigrants.

**Letting the Cat Out of the Bag**

I lived in India. I live in Massachusetts. I live in a Limbo.

I had never seen snow.

The first year was tough, To say the least. A friend said that America “Took it up a notch” On bad weather, Like there was a scale.

I bought thin gloves, Thinking they would be enough. I wore sneakers, Thinking they would be fine.

I tried to catch the bus On a hill Covered in ice Smooth as glass A hundred meters from me.

I'd get closer, Just to slip back down, Over and over And over again, Like a child going up a down escalator. I had missed three buses already. Is this what they mean when they say "Chill out"?

I have learned since then.

I learned how to take care of myself, How to cook for myself, How to pay bills, How to “pull my own weight,” Like I had a sack full of rocks.

I learned how “to take things in stride” How to “roll with the punches,” How to “go with the flow,” And understand Americans.

Transcript
Greene: Okay, can you spell your first and last name?

Naidu: Okay, it’s first name: S-I-R-I-S-H-A and N-A, oh my last name is N-A-I-D-U

Greene: Okay, and so where were you born?

Naidu: In Chennai, C-H-E-N-N-A-I.

Greene: And so you grew up there?

Naidu: Uh-huh

Greene: Did you grow up there your whole life or did you live…..

Naidu: I saw, I…I was born in Chennai but I lived, which is the southern part of India, but I actually grew up and spent most of my formative years in western India and then my parents moved back to Chennai when I was about 13, 14.

Greene: So, have you lived anywhere else your whole life, between there and here?

Naidu: No, no.

Greene: So what was your home like, growing up?

Naidu: Like what? Like, I’m the only child. Okay, I loved school. Y’know my parents were very supportive of both curricular activities but also extra-curricular activities so I loved dance and music and when I was really small I went to drawing classes but I also was a competitive swimmer so it was a very busy, full life.

Greene: Do you still swim?

Naidu: Occasionally, yes.

Greene: So you didn’t have any sisters, did you live with any other family other than your parents?

Naidu: No, and because, like I told you I grew up in western India which most of my parents' families live in Chennai, which is southern India so we lived away from any sort of close/distant family.

Greene: So what kind of school did you go to? Did you have a school system similar to the ones in the U.S. or did they have a different grade level system?

Naidu: So India has the British system. It’s not exactly the British system, but y’know we have standards and things like that, so it’s still not similar to the U.S. system, but I also went to an only girls school until the 9th, what would be 9th grade here, but 9th standard in India after which it was kind of weird. I did two years in a co-ed with boys.

Greene: Was it a boarding school?

Naidu: No.

Greene: So at what age did you come to America?

Naidu: I came here in 2001 and I was 22 then, 23 then

Greene: Why did you come to America? Was it for education or was it for just somewhere new?

Naidu: Yeah, for education. I came here to, for graduate school so I went to Massachusetts to do my Ph.D. in Economics.

Greene: Were you thinking of other countries, or only America, or anywhere…?

Naidu: I very briefly considered the U.K., but you probably know this, but in any case, in terms of the credentials given to students, U.S. graduate schools and in the U.S. tends to be better because assistantships and forms of scholarships, etc. Where as the U.K., there are some scholarships but not as many as in the U.S.

Greene: Did you get an educational scholarship or a sports scholarship?

Naidu: Oh, educational.

Greene: Where did you go to college here for graduate school?

Naidu: University of Massachusetts.

Greene: So that was for your Master’s degree?

Naidu: For my Ph.D. I already had my Master’s degree.

Greene: Nice!

Naidu: Yeah! (Laughs)

Greene: What was it in?

Naidu: [?] Economics.

Greene: Now you teach at Wright State?

Naidu: Uh-huh, I teach Economics. (Laughs)

Greene: How long have you been teaching there?

Naidu: I joined in 2006, September of 2006, so it has been about 4 and a half years.

Greene: And how's that?

Naidu: It's very good. It's a change. I've been a student all my life so in 2006 I stopped being a student.

Greene: Do you have any family back home like your parents?

Naidu: Yes, yes, my parents live in India and back home meaning, what are you considering home now? In India?

Greene: Yes.

Naidu: My parents live in India. A lot of my family lives in India.

Greene: Do you have any relatives that moved here after you or before you and live in the U.S.?

Naidu: Yes, before and after. I have a lot of family here as well. A lot of cousins, in fact I have a cousin who lives in Yellow Springs. And then I have some cousins who live in Michigan and some who live in San Francisco and everywhere.

Greene: Do you have a rivalry with Michigan?

Naidu: I don’t actually, I’m not in to college sports.

Greene: So what was the toughest part, just the time change, picking up everything and leaving? What was it like?

Naidu: You mean when I first arrived, or….?

Greene: Just the transition.

Naidu: Ohhh, let me think…In terms of the economy, I know this is gonna sound a little hokey, but in terms of the economy, like what really struck me and consciously sort of got my goat was that fact that things in the U.S., things that seem very essential seem so much more expensive. Like for instance, a pair of y’know glasses right, which are ridiculously expensive, but if you wanna but a DVD player it’s, y’know, nothing right? But I could live without a DVD player, but I need glasses. So those types of things kind of bothered me quite a bit, also it was the first time I was living on my own so there was all of that transition, paying my own bills, figuring things out myself, it was exciting, but it was still…..

Greene: You didn’t live in an apartment house with other people? You just had your own place?

Naidu: No I did live with other people, but I paid my own bills, my cell phone bill, just things, some things I had to pay with my other roommates, which I had never done before, so it was a new experience.

Greene: And what was that last bit before you left, like family, what was the mood right before you left?

Naidu: Wow, it’s hard to recall, I think my parents were sad that I was leaving, but they were also very understanding. And for me it was this, y’know, I was anticipating newer things, new place, new friends, new experiences, but I was also somewhat worried about how I’d cope with all of that. So y’know, I was, it was a just a mixture of different emotions.

Greene: So because you were an immigrant or because it was just such a different culture did you face any discrimination or was it just tough in general because there was such a difference?

Naidu: I think there was and still is, in terms of language, in terms for instance India was colonized by the British. The English I speak is closer to British English, it is not completely (?), but it is, y’know, the English I speak is different from the English that Americans speak, so I would constantly have people correct me, which would annoy me, and also I came just before 9/11, so there was all of that, and yes, there were a couple of incidents, which were unpleasant. It's something I think happened to a lot of brown-skinned people at that time

Greene: Would it be okay if I asked…?

Naidu: Oh, sure. Well, a friend of mine, also Indian, had moved, had come to Massachusetts at the same time. She and I were at the mall and we were walking around and a couple of I think college kids, I don't know, driving by and said 'You Middle-Eastern assholes!' and I looked at her and I was like 'Where are the Middle-Easterners?' like I was generally surprised. She was like 'They're talking about us.' So I was like 'Okaaaayyyy'. So in general, y'know, there were a lot of incidents where Indian people, especially Sikhs, who were physically assaulted after 9/11 because they wear turbans, and there were all these stories, so I was definitely worried about how people would sort of treat me and things like that so yeah.

Greene: Not just because of your race, but just because you were an immigrant, was anything just harder for you, that you think would have been easier for someone who was born here?

Naidu: One of the things, just as a graduate student and this has not just been my experience of mine but also others, because as a graduate student you tend to seek other international students and it's easier because everyone is sort of in the same boat as you and everyone is trying to figure things out. One thing is we often felt we couldn't ask for things of our faculty, sort of 'demand' things we knew were correct or due to us because we felt like we were outsiders and we didn't have the right to ask, so that was kind of hard, but I was part of a Union, so that was easier. They made us feel very welcome and accepted and things like that.

Greene: So you had other international friends that weren't from India?

Naidu: Yes, U. Mass. has a very big international graduate population. Most of my friends were, not all, but most of my friends were international students. Not necessarily Indian, but Indians as well.

Greene: Hearing stories from other international students, and from other India students, do you think you had the same experience as others from your country who immigrated here?

Naidu: Some but not all Asians… for instance… it's a generalization, Asian women tend to look younger so I have to constantly deal with that fact; that combined with age and race and gender and I'm not American so it's a constant thing of trying to assert my authority. I know some of the other S Asian women have faced similar probs: but also in terms of language, culture and sometimes simple things--jokes others won't get—it's a culture thing; all of a sudden jokes I don't get-- didn't grow up seeing same shows or reading same magazines. There is a sometimes a disconnection.

Greene: Do you have citizenship?

Naidu: No, a green card.

Greene: Like my mom. What port did you enter through?

Naidu: Believe it was Chicago. I have a cousin who lives in Detroit. Actually my father's brother and wife live in Detroit. When I first came here I stayed with them for a bit, so came through Chicago.

Greene: No Ellis Island: not all immigrants come through Ellis Island.

Naidu:Yes, [laughs] I didn't

Greene: Another generalization. So if you had to tell the public about your experiences, what would you tell about your personal story, about your immigrant experience?

Naidu: It's interesting and continues to be; definitely challenged my world view. It's different from just travelling. You know when you're forced to live somewhere that's different from the culture you've grown up in, it challenges the way you think and the way you generalize-- you realize how geographic and politically-specific. Interesting… a learning experience. I definitely miss India and I think of it as my home, but it's been a good experience as well, being here.

Greene: What you heard about America and living in America, was it accurate?

Naidu: No,(laughing), no it was NOT! Until the early 1990s India was a closed economy in that it didn't trade with other countries, but after the '90s, what happened was we started getting American shows and products and everything. My generation and those who didn't travel to America before, we thought Americans lived like the people on “Friends” which is not true and even now my friends back in India think America is like Friends and Sex in the City which is not how most Americans live. It's a v. specific population. So when I came I thought "wow" and most of us didn't realize how religious people are here, that was [laughs]

Greene: Comparing cultures between here and India, what are the major differences that strike you: religious or other?

Naidu: Well, of course, religion is different. Politically we are very different. For instance, people here in the U.S. have only two political parties while in India there are multiple political parties and they have regional parties that are not, like for Ohio you could have a party that is only prevalent for Ohio. Those things are different. The other thing that is sort of different, at least from when I was growing up in India to when I came here was social interactions. The way I interacted with my friends back in India is very different from the way I interact with my friends here. For instance, when I was growing up I wouldn't have to call anyone to ask if I could come over to their place, and I don't know how it is because I didn't go to elementary and middle and high school here, so maybe it's the same in school. And with a lot of friends I sort of lived at their house, I wouldn't actually sleep there or anything, but I practically lived in their houses and they lived in mine, so it was a very close relationship. Also in terms of neighbors, when I was a kid, when I was a baby in fact, mom would just leave me at the neighbors. She could be out or just at home doing nothing, but those are things I don't necessarily see here. There is just somewhat of a social difference. So there is no concept of babysitting in India, you don't get paid for babysitting. There will be multiple people willing to do it for free. I think the kind of social interactions, like what you can demand and of what people close to you. For instance, I never cooked for anyone when I lived back in India because I could always demand food from someone which I wouldn't do here unless they were friends from India. I could demand to be fed in the sense that they'd have to make food for me and vice versa. People say 'Oh, I'm tired of my cooking, I need to eat something different so make this for me.

Greene: If you could talk to kids or girls back in India, would you tell them to try this, what would you tell them about immigrating to the U.S. or anywhere?

Naidu: I think I would ask them to try it, because it definitely changes, at least it changed my world. I think it has changed everyone who has immigrated some, to some degree. There are also many people who would want to immigrate for other reasons, in terms of cultural openness, for one. The conception of the U.S. in India is that it is a very open society and you can do exactly what you want, which is true if you live in New York because no one really cares about you, but is not necessarily true if you live in the Midwest, in the sense that people know what you're doing and things like that. So if that is the reason, culturally, what we see on television, if that is what they are basing their leaving I would ask them to reconsider.

Greene: When you were growing up in India did you travel anywhere else?

Naidu: Yes I did. I was a competitive swimmer so there were a lot of national meets that I'd go to. So I travelled quite a bit, yeah.

Greene: Did you go to other countries?

Naidu: No. The first time I left the country was to come here.

Greene: So, do you prefer living in big cities or smaller towns?

Naidu: So where I went to graduate school in the US (my answer would differ if you were to ask me the same question about India). So I think I prefer a cosmopolitan setting and the reason why I'm being a bit ambiguous is that I lived in a small town for graduate school. It was also very cosmopolitan and I really loved it. I loved the fact that it was small so, pretty much everyone knew.. well, not everyone, but... It was small enough that it was fantastic. There was lots happening culturally in terms of art and music and dance and in terms of restaurants and North Hampton where I lived was considered the gay capital of the country. People were very progressive and things like that so I completely loved it.

Greene: Sounds awesome! Where was it?

Naidu: It was awesome! North Hampton, western Massachusetts. You'll be thinking about college, right, in a few years, so… I really liked that and Yellow Springs to some degree is somewhat like that on a very much much much smaller scale but it's nice. I like hanging out at some of the joints in town and I can walk to places to the Glen and things like that. So if I think I could have all of that I'd like the smaller town. I sort of like the community that comes with a small town but I also miss what happens in a big city in terms of people you can meet or shows you can go watch or restaurants and things that happen in a big city.

Greene: Where did you go to get your Masters and Bachelors degrees?

Naidu: In Chennai, India. I got my Bachelors at Stella Meris College and then my MA I got at Madras School of Economics.

Greene: They were like..?

Naidu: The university system in India typically tends to be where colleges are affiliated to certain universities whereas the college I went to was autonomous so the degree I got was from that college, not a university. Does that make sense? Also a girls' college run by Catholic nuns. Even one of the schools I went to was a Catholic school. College was great; I had a great time. I learned a lot.

Greene: Did you live with family?

Naidu: Yes. So when I moved to US it was a complete shock because I was actually moving out of my parents place. I lived at home, though I wish I'd lived in the dorms. It sounded like they had a great time. It definitely had a lot of rules so for instance the college system in India, at least when I went, was not where you had the freedom to choose different electives. I went to study economics so everything I studied had to do with economics. But I also took English class and a second language class.

Greene: What language did you take?

Naidu: Hindi. There are all these rules. It started at 8am and finished at 1;30 or 2.. I can't remember but you couldn't leave college premises during that time. We often sort of … there was a watchman.. we'd.. my girlfriends.. sweet-talk him into letting us leave for lunch but technically you weren't allowed to leave. But it was a great college. Academically they're very well known in India. I made some really good friends there.

Greene: Did you come to the US on a student transfer or was it immigration..?

Naidu: The visa you mean? It was a student visa.

Greene: The union you were in… Were you in an immigration program with colleges?

Naidu: Oh no, so the union I was in was for international students who had a job. There was no immigration program. There was an orientation for international students before the regular orientation. We had all these workshops on getting your SS #, strictly orientation stuff that needed to be done but otherwise there was no additional support. The university did have an international programs office that processed visas if you needed to leave the country and get it stamped by the university or had issues with visas they would help you, but otherwise no.

Greene: When you were getting your BA and MA, were there students coming into your college from other countries, immigrating into India?

Naidu: Very few. There were a few students from Sri Lanka but not in my class. And there were a few from Nigeria but again not in my class. So, no But there were students in my grade from other states-- a lot of internal migration, but not international.

Greene: The US has states; does India have something similar—states or provinces?

Naidu: States. But it's not similar to the US but it's somewhat of a federal system, so the states have …they don't have their own constitutions but they have certain issues where they have the final say, but there are certain issues which are more federal. Then there are some which are joint, so the federals draw up guidelines, and the states implement them. It's not exactly how it is in the U.S. Here, you have the Supreme Court and the state supreme court whereas in India you have the supreme court which pertains to the federal supreme court and the judgement of the supreme court takes precedent over the highest court in the state which is called the high court.

Greene: What state did you live in?

Naidu: Growing up I lived in the state of Gugerat, I'll spell it out. It's: G-U-G-E-R-A-T. Then I lived in, so this is in the west, and this is the state of, I'll spell it out for you: T-A-M-I-L and the next word is N-A-D-U and that's Gugerat and that's Tamil Nadu.

Greene: You lived in Massachusetts and you moved straight here to Ohio, or did you live anywhere else?

Naidu: Yes, no. You can draw straight lines (Laughs). Yeah so Massachusetts to Ohio.

Greene: What was Massachusetts like? Other than the one place you went to college in, did you travel anywhere else in Massachusetts?

Naidu: Yeah, but mostly in western Massachusetts it has the (?). It's beautiful, it's very mountainous, so there is a lot of outdoor related stuff you can do so I traveled mostly within the northeast to Vermont, and I went to New Hampshire and Rhode Island and I went to visit a friend in Texas and I went to visit a friend in San Francisco, but not much more than that. I know a lot about the people who constantly travel and I was much more centered

Greene: What about the climate change, not I mean globally, but when you moved from India to Massachusetts and then Ohio was there a big…?

Naidu: Oh my god it was horrible (Laughs). I had never seen snow before even though there are parts of India where it snows but I had never been there so I was really excited, but I had no idea how to actually deal with it so I remember every year I had to get a pair of gloves that were thicker than the previous ones. I started out with those really thin one and I was like 'Oh, that'll keep me warm.' And I found out that that wasn't going to do, but also trying to negotiate ice was the biggest thing. I can remember this one time where I had to get to the bus and we had a very good bus system so I didn't have to find private forms of transport and there was this icy patch between where I was and the bus stop which was maybe a hundred meters and it was my first year and I was wearing sneakers and I just slid, for half an hour all I did, I would walk two steps and it was an incline so I'd slide down, and it was flat, so I hadn't negotiated the flat portion. So I couldn't go back because I was scared I would fall and I was very close, I was fifteen meters to the bus stop so I really wanted to get to the stop, but I would just slide back and I remember feeling so miserable, because I had missed three buses, but ..i …yeah…

Greene: Yeah, I used to live in North Carolina and we got very little snow and then I moved here and I was like 'Aaaaawwwweeeeee' and I love snow, but it's the ice, at my old bus stop it would just be a solid plate of ice and we'd just skate around for hours until the bus got here, which felt like hours and we'd all fall on our butts. Fun and painful. It was a new thing.

Naidu: Right! The other thing that was different was that I actually started to pay attention to weather forecasts. When I lived in India no one paid attention to weather forecasts except if it's going to rain because, y'know….so everyday I would check the weather forecast which I never did.

Greene: So how is this winter working out for you?

Naidu: It has been good so far. I was just telling Peggy when the snow melted today: Summertime! [laughs] It's been ok so far, mostly because since it's been cold we've been on vacation and I haven't had to leave home very much.

Greene: Any thoughts looking back.. anything you wished you'd known when you were emigrating?

Naidu: No, it all went fine. Obviously there were ups and downs but that's true of anyone's life, right? No it's been a good experience what would I have done differently? Not too much: it's been all right!

Greene: Ever considered moving back?

Naidu: I have on and off and I wouldn't completely rule it out; it's definitely been in the back of my mind. The thing about migrating is that sometimes .., when I first moved here I had friends who had migrated with their parents and their parents were always so much more strict. These are my peers and you'd imagine parents being similar across peers but I found that their parents were much more strict than mine because they had this idea of what India was and they were trying to recreate this culture here, whereas my parents were moving with the changes in India. And I see the same, when I go back, there are things that appall me… some of the changes.. and my parents say "this is how it is."

Greene: Such as?

Naidu: In terms of prices, I remember we'd make fun of the old generation for complaining about prices and now I go back and complain about the prices and my parents make fun of me! There are economic changes that are taking place that I'm not necessarily thrilled about. The point being that there's this in-between state that some immigrants are left in where they don't completely fit into the place they migrated to because they were brought up in a different culture. It's still something they enjoy and something they feel at home with, except that the place they migrated from has also changed so much and that place doesn't exist anymore. It's true in my case and in the cases of other people I've spoken to that people are sometimes stuck in this Limbo, and we're stuck in this place, and some of it is pure romanticizing about our past, it probably wasn't even that good, but just this idea of home or how home should be, and was, and is no longer. Were you looking for such a long answer? But, yeah.

Greene: So overall what's your… not really like a final statement, but looking back at the choices you've made, are you happy, or, going back to what I said, would you have changed anything, but looking back are you really happy with everything that's happened?

Naidu: I think I would have made some different choices, but I don't think they have anything to do with migrating, that was a choice I would've made, but other things in terms of my graduate school I may have done something different, but that has nothing to do with migration, so, it's been good, nothing major to complain about, there is always minor things to complain about

Greene: Well, thank you!

Naidu: Thank you!

Analysis
Comparing my interviewee’s experience to that of others in history has shown me that not every immigrant went through what textbooks say the mass of immigrants did. Sirisha wasn’t discriminated against because of her race or ethnicity in the way people used to see the Irish as unruly and insipid, or how Hispanics are often assumed to always be illegal immigrants. She did face bias after 9/11 when some thought she was Middle Eastern. Some immigrants have come here for freedom or opportunity. She came here, like many other immigrants before and after her, for her education. She, also like other immigrants, was surprised at what she found life was like here. She remarked “We thought Americans lived like the people on “Friends” which is not true.” She enjoys her life, even if it wasn’t what she expected.